So I have quite an interesting post in the making but in the meantime I thought I'd write about something a little closer to home. So here's to hoping some of you can be inspired by this post.
Recently I've been watching an Australian teen drama called Dance Academy, I'm sure if you're a ballet or contemporary dancer you'll have heard of it. It has got me thinking about a lot of things and has finally motivated me to put in a good three hours of practice at least everyday. The thing that glares out at me from the series and also from all films or series based in a ballet school is the competition and associated with that the feeling of not being good enough.
I think as dancers we are all fighting this feeling of just not being the best, it's something that I think we have to fight every day. It's part of being a dancer. I often find myself going to dance performances and being in total awe and admiration of the performer but at the same time there's this black cloud pushing its way in to say "there's no way you'll ever be as good as that." and it's not just at performances but in class too. The thing is I don't believe we actually have anything against our peers other than selfish human jealousy.
I've found my own way of dealing with this, the world of dance and in all honesty I'm still working on perfecting it. Whenever I feel like I'm not good enough and am never going to be, whenever I feel like there is no point and I should just give up, I ask myself "why do you dance?" and therein lies my salvation. I don't dance to be the best, I don't dance for anyone else, I don't even dance because it's necessarily something I have a rare talent for (it's not trust me! If there's one thing Indian classical dance teaches you it's to be humble!) I dance for two reasons. Firstly, quite simply because I love it and my life would be incomplete if I didn't dance. Secondly, I dance for God, as a form of worship. As a Sikh I have always found it unbelievably difficult to find stories about Lord Vishnu or Lord Ganesh spiritual but I am starting to realise that it is my belief as a Sikh that there is only one God and therefore I dance for that one God.
Yes, the arimandi is painful and yes, the tatkar does make me want to collapse in a heap but I see dance as a way of bettering myself. As my Kathak Guru always says "no pain no gain".
So I shall leave you to ponder and with a little something I wrote about Shiva Nataraja, Lord of dance.
The Nataraja is not simply a God but represents
something of our innermost being, our own spiritual connection to ourselves.
